I have no idea where the last 3 months have gone. It’s like trying to remember the details of your prom (nearly 20 years later). it’s all kinda fuzzy. But the emotions are there, clear as a bell.
There was drama. And there were people. Family, friends, a partner who was going through all the same motions. Nervous energy, ‘time of your life’ energy, ‘better get it right, no do-overs’ energy….typical for something like a prom (or the birth of your son). You don’t have to remember that kind of stuff. You just know it happened. And you are certain it was awesome.
“If you can’t really remember it, how can you say it was awesome?”
Again, it’s just the feeling. Like the exhaustion you get after a long day of grinning and laughing and hugging and frenzy and caffeine and ‘life will never be the same’. You remember that. Also, there are the photos. So many photos! Who needs to remember it all? It’s right there in glossy 4×6 for all eternity. You could put them back to back, flipbook style, and watch the whole thing unfold!
Looking back on the first three months of being a dad I feel nothing but joy and bewilderment. How did we manage to function on so little rest? And how did we emerge without a broken bone, criminal record or markings from a straight jacket?
The only answer I can conjure is…Emmitt. He expects better. We need to ‘set an example’ and all that jazz. We can’t let him down. He’s brand new! We have to make it at least to his teens before he realizes we’re making this all up as we go.
Meanwhile, I’m going to spend more of my energy looking forward. And squeezing those giant cheeks. Folks say these days fly by. At least, I think that’s what they say. I can’t remember, it all happened too fast.